Hi there; ‘Driven to Distraction’

man, I hear ya. Being distracted by unmet urges can be really distracting.  I think your answer lies in part, in your question. First develop some friendships, or one friendship. i think a lot of women might be put off by your immediate desire to add the “with benefits” part. Even someone who wants a casual, low-commitment relationship, still wants to be liked as a person.  Women’s sexual openness is in direct proportion to how much they trust their partner. Some nice lady with a busy lifestyle but who wants a friend she can share intimate times with is out there for you. But think of this; would it really be so bad to be fully committed to someone anyway? Just food for thought. Make a nice, fun profile. Say you are looking for friends. Start with that. you can say one of your interests is exploring your sensuality, but don’t just ask right off for “benefits”

Being the nice, gentle guy you are, i know you will find what you are looking for.

Peace and love;

Ally

Dear Lonely Too Long;

I feel for you. Life can be lonely and once burned by an ex, one is twice as shy to start a new relationship. But as my friend Pam says; “there’s a lid for every pot”

Make a profile that focuses on the positive. Say one or two interesting things about yourself. Books, movies or shows you like, not just “I like movies”. Say where you like to walk, or hike and maybe a dream of yours you would like to fulfill with that special person; “I’d love to see the Eiffel tower with you”

Don’t mention past failed relationships. Look for a fresh start. Get involved in local events too. Volunteering and other social groups gets you out and talking to people and gives you something to focus on and to talk to potential new loves about. Take a few small trips here and there and soon you will be back to your best self and you will be open to meeting that love of your life!

peace and love;

Ally