Why You Shouldn’t Build Your Friend’s Online Dating Profile

online2Maybe you’ve been single for a while. You know you’re not the best at putting yourself out there. Maybe you’re a little shy or just timid about pulling the trigger on online dating. And your friends, who love you, just want to help get you out there. And you’re tempted; your friends provide support for you in every way for your life.

Dating is no exception. But where is the line where support becomes misidentification? When it comes to online dating your friend may feel pulled to get you into the scene by writing your online dating profile for you. She’s thrown out words that you don’t know how to make yourself sound “interesting enough.” You wonder, is this the best idea? You know you want to be online, but is this the best way to go about doing it?

Writing your own online dating profile can feel like a daunting task. What should you say about yourself? How will you come across to the person reading it?

Your friends can offer some sage advice on your dating profile in many ways. In other words, what the great things are about yourself. Your friends can be great sounding boards for qualities you may not realize about yourself but happen to be the great things other people experience about you.

You may not realize that you’re very generous and thoughtful; “Remember how you always instantly change the radio whenever that song that reminded me of my ex came on?” – she says. They can help tell you which pictures of yourself look cute and the irresistible quirks that you have no idea you do.

What your friends can’t do in your online dating profile:

Who and what you’re looking for in your next relationship.

So you’ve always been the shy girl attracted to the class clown. That is a zebra stripe of yours isn’t going to change no matter how many hippies she tries to set you up with. You know that you could never marry a penny pincher and that a man who hates animals is not the man for you.

Your friends can offer a good sounding board to challenge you on the things you think you want and don’t want, but ultimately, that list belongs to you. And those are the things only you can convey in your online dating profile.

While the words you write tell about you, so does how you write.  If you’ve got a friend who can make sure your grammar is in line with APA style rules, that’s great for a job aplliation. Just make sure it’s your voice and your vocabulary shining through. The last thing you need is someone asking you about your hyperbolistic juxtaposition and you are scratching your head wondering if those SAT words were even in your study list.

Typing like you talk is a great way for someone to get a sense of who you are and what having a conversation with you is actually like.

Here’s the rub here, the more a person can get a sense of who you actually are, the easier it is for them to establish if you’re the type of person he’d actually be interested in spending time with, the girl that can convey that accurately is the girl the right guy is going to send his message to.

If your friend is bogarting your profile, it’s easy for these important elements about you to get lost in translation.

I’ve coached lots of people how they can build their profile in their own voice to attract men they are interested in, if you have any questions on what that profile would look like for you, feel free to contact me.

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