Why Don’t I Ever Receive Replies Online?

Joey from Niagara asks…Lava365 Ask the Expert

I’m pretty decent when it comes to messaging girls online. But honestly why is it that almost 75% of the time, girls just don’t even reply? Is it an ego thing to see a ton of messages in their inbox and throw us guys out without giving us a shot? It’s not the end of the world if you just message back and say hi.


Dear Joey,

You have a problem that countless male online daters experience these days.  So let’s get straight to the point on how to fix this.

The first thing you simply must understand is that the competition online is exponentially greater than the competition in real life.  Men hit on women online at a much higher rate than in “real life”, due to the fact that there is no fear of face-to-face rejection.  In fact, the best looking women often receive upwards of 100 messages per week!

Does this mean we are hopeless?  Absolutely not.  But it does mean we must be extremely original, creative, funny, and provide women with a reason to want to write us back.  Simply saying hello, providing compliments, or making small talk will not cut it.  Nor should it.

Just like in “real life”, we should be making our best effort to win over the women we are interested in with a full out effort, and we shouldn’t assume that we are entitled to dates just because we are paying for a membership.  Put your best foot forward and woo her in cyber space.

Finally, don’t take it personally if a woman doesn’t say hello back for the sake of politeness.  Think about it logically, who has the time to do so?  And furthermore, what’s the point?  In real life it would be rude to completely ignore someone.  But online, responding to every email would be a full time job in itself, not to mention she’d run the risk of unintentionally leading someone on.

Bottom line:  Keep the emails interesting, make women laugh, and give them a strong reason to want to talk to you.  In the online dating world, hall of famers bat .300.  If you are receiving responses to 30% of your emails or more, you are doing a pretty good job!

Need more emailing advice from Joshua Pompey?  Learn the seven biggest mistakes men make when writing first emails.

Lavalife About Lavalife
Lavalife.com is one of the original players in the online dating game. Committed to helping its members find fun dates and relationships, Lavalife is a prime source for online dating, dating and relationship advice.

Related Posts