When Should I Expect a Call After a First Date?

Sylvia from Atlanta asks…Lava365 Ask the Expert

How soon after first date should I expect a guy to send me a text? I’ve had guys text me right after saying they had a good time and others go days before sending me even a hello. Should I say something at the end of each date to make sure they’ll contact me?


A general rule of thumb is to expect a text or phone call within the first 24 hours of a solid first date. Guys who wait much longer than that are one of three things: insecure, playing games, or unsure of how they felt about the date. None of these qualities warrant further pursuit of a relationship with this person.

I would encourage you not to initiate or overtly encourage them to contact you. Instead, use this as a way to gauge his interest and character. A quality guy will know without you telling him that you could snatched off the market at any minute, so he shouldn’t waste any time in asserting his interest.

In the future, guys who wait several days to contact you again should raise some BIG red flags. If they’re this flakey during the part of dating that requires the least commitment, it doesn’t bode well for how they would behave in a relationship. Another important thing to note is that Genuinely Interested Guy will contact you to let you know what a great time he had, but may wait until after the 24 hour timeframe to actually ask for a second date.

But if he follows up soon after, this is someone you want to pursue!

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