When Less Is More in an Online Dating Profile
It’s a challenge for most people trying to figure out what they should write on their online dating profile. You want people to get a true sense of who you are, but often we end up sharing things that are better left to discover in person. Some online dating profiles look like essays or university thesis assignments. When you stumble upon one of those, you really have to be in the mood to sit down and get into it.
Lengthy online dating profiles can be quite painful to read. It almost feels desperate to some, when you’re throwing your entire life story up for everyone to read. Here’s one such example:
“I grew up in a small town and fell in love with my high school sweetheart Brad. We had 3 beautiful children, but after 10 years of marriage, I discovered he had 2 girlfriends and one of them was my best friend and maid of honor. It’s O.K, I’ve moved on. Sometimes I find it a struggle to make ends meet, but I think I may be getting a promotion soon, even though I’ve been passed over 3 times now.”
A little TMI (too much information) don’t you think? When deciding on things you share on your online dating profile, you definitely want to stay positive. Too many people make the mistake of writing down a laundry list of “relationship musts” and “dating demands.” You should not be sharing anything negative on your online dating profile. You can be judged as someone who is pessimistic and carrying baggage.
Here’s an example of that negative laundry list:
- Must not drink
- Must not cheat
- Must not live with his mom
- Must not ride a motorcycle
- Must not have tattoos or piercings
- Must not smoke
“Must not have a mind of his own or allowed to do anything other than what’s on her list,” is what this person is thinking. Oh boy, who could ever live with someone with such a rigid list of demands? Or you could be thinking to yourself, this one’s been burned before. Major issues, move on.
Don’t throw up on your online dating profile by sharing your sad stories.
It may help if you’re looking to connect with someone who pities you or feels sorry for you. There are certainly plenty of co-dependent people out there who could be perfect for you if that’s the kind of relationship you’re looking for. Rather than showcasing the “Must not” list, create your wish list and “desire” or “passion” list.
“I’m looking for someone who loves life, has a passion for cooking, is a creative thinker and loves to get their groove on; when on the dance floor.”
You really shouldn’t reserve any online-profile-dating real estate to describe your relationship history and sob stories. Focus on highlighting the reasons which make you special and attract the type of person you want to spend time with.