What You’re Saying VS. What He's Hearing in Your Relationship
We’re all familiar with the old adage “men are from Mars and women are from Venus,” and it has become the cultural red herring for explaining the differences between genders. But how often does this idea actually make its way into our relationships? Well, perhaps more often that you think. Sometimes we think our significant other is hard of hearing, severely confused, and maybe sometimes just silly. Always remember however that communication is a two way street and when you’re saying something but they are hearing something different, there’s always a way to find common ground.
When talking about your feelings: For those ladies who have a tendency to try and soften the blow by beating around the bush or not saying exactly what you’re feeling, you’re not helping anyone. This makes it extremely difficult for your significant other to understand and correct the situation. Don’t make this a complex message your man has to decode – take some time to figure out exactly what you’re feeling and the quickest way to say it. Also, and this is very important, figure out what you want as an outcome from the conversation before you even enter into it. This makes things easier for both parties.
When ordering dinner: Any time a woman says, “I’m easy going – let’s have whatever you’re craving”, what she means is that she would really like you to make a decision. Don’t start up the back and forth that will find both of you still hungry and staring at ratings on Urban Spoon 45 minutes later. Make a decision and eat! You’ll both feel better for it. And tell her that next time, it’s her choice.
When she asks for your advice: I had an ex who would vaguely comment on what I was wearing, “Oh, you’re going with those pants eh?”, and when I would respond with a borderline bitchy “yeah, what would you recommend?,” he would shake his head no and state never mind, I looked fine. This annoyed me to no end.
Boys, there are two ways to handle this: Say right off the bat your girlfriend looks fantastic and stick by it, or be prepared to offer some sartorial advice.
When a woman says ‘fine’: Guess what? It’s not fine, it never was fine, and God help you as you try and sift through the details of her day to find out what went wrong. Mostly she just wants to be cuddled but if you can ask some pressing open ended questions and then listen to her complain for 20 minutes, that would be best.