What Your Sex Dreams Mean
Sex dreams can be extremely hot, confusing, disgusting or any combination of the above. We’ve all had them, and more often than not, they bear no relation to the sex we are having in our waking hours. According to Kelly Sullivan Walden, author of I Had the Strangest Dream… The Dreamers Dictionary for the 21st Century, we should pay close attention to these dreams because they can act as free therapy.
“When we try to understand our dreams and listen to what they are trying to tell us, major shifts can happen in your life,” says Sullivan Walden, who adds that we should keep records of the dreams we have in order to work through them, because no matter how bizarre, every dream can be interpreted.
Here are four bizarre dreams ripe with symbolism, and Sullivan Walden’s interpretation of what exactly they mean.
The Rock Star Dream
“I have this very sexy recurring dream where I’m at an Iron Maiden concert and the lead singer pulls me out of the crowd, onto the stage and we start making out in front of thousands of screaming fans. I wake up so hot and ready for action.”
— Nicole from Vancouver
Although Nicole certainly would like to make out with the singer from Iron Maiden, this dream isn’t just about the attraction she feels. There is a much deeper meaning, says Sullivan Walden. “Nicole is connecting with the raw elemental power the rock star represents and is coming into a sexy and powerful stage in her own life. Her subliminal mind is telling her that she needs to embrace her own raw animal instincts and let her wild side rock out,” she says.
Dreams that feature music are very positive, as they represent us coming into harmony and concert with our souls, says Sullivan Walden, “So this is a very powerful dream for Nicole to keep having.”
The Ex-Sex Dream
“I had a really hot dream about wild sex with a psycho ex-girlfriend. Our relationship ended so badly that I don’t even like to think about her, so why am I dreaming about screwing her and enjoying it so much?”
— Dan from Truro, N.S.
Dreams about an ex are rich, deep, often very juicy, and laden with meaning, says Sullivan Walden, “These dreams are about wanting to heal yourself, and often have nothing to do with that ex so much as represent the parts of you that have been lost since that relationship ended.
For example, if you were more passionate while you were with that person, your dreams are trying to connect you back with that side of yourself. Every character in your dreams is really you, so you should look at their behavior in the dreams and see how it relates to your life.”
There is another school of thought that says no relationship ever truly ends, says Sullivan Walden, and in our dream state we are simply continuing the good part of the relationship, as in the love that was there, which will go on forever.
The Cheating Dream
“I woke up feeling disgusted with myself and incredibly guilty, because I dreamed I had dirty sex with a really unattractive co-worker. I would never cheat on my gorgeous boyfriend, and especially not with that guy.”
— Alexia from Vancouver
First off, you should never feel guilty about your carnal dreams. “It’s all fair game in our dreams, no one gets hurt, so you can have the whole football team,” says Sullivan Walden. “And these dreams are not about you wanting to commit infidelity.” Sexual dreams are never to be taken literally, and as unattractive as Alexia might find that co-worker, they might be qualities that he has which she would like to embrace.
“It could even be that this dream is helping her embrace any unattractiveness she feels about herself. She may be getting in touch with her shadow, and her dreams are turning frogs into princes as part of this process. It’s a kind of alchemy,” she says.
The Bizarre Animal Dream
“I dreamed that I was a cat in heat, and all the neighborhood tomcats were sniffing around and I was basically the main attraction in a kitty orgy.”– Sara from Toronto
Having animal dreams is how we connect with our spirit, says Sullivan Walden, and this dream shows how deeply connected she is to her basic animal nature and that she is coming into a newfound magnetism. “This dream is her brain getting in touch with her animal energy and letting her work through how attractive she can be when she is connected to those basic instincts.
Humans are so socialized and out of touch with our animal natures, dreams like this forge that connection that we’ve lost in our non-dream lives,” she says, “Plus, in basic symbolism terms, cats are very feminine, powerful and sexy.”
3 Interesting Factoids
- Both men and women are known to orgasm in their sleep. In an average night of sleep, guys get wood and ladies moisten about four to six times, so the conditions are perfect for a naughty dream to tip you over the edge and leave a stain on your sheets.
- According to a study published in The Journal of Sex Research in 1986, 35 per cent of the female college students surveyed reported having orgasms from sexy dreams.
- People who suffer from the rare disorder ‘sexsomnia’ will not only have wet dreams, but also masturbate, perform oral sex or even full intercourse without waking up. Most people’s bodies become immobilized when we enter REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, which is the phase in which we dream.That immobilization doesn’t happen to sexsomniacs and the person can fully act out their sex dreams.