Archive for Q and A tag

I Have an 8 Year Old. Is Now Really the Time to Date?

Paola, 29 from Brockville asks…Lava365 Ask the Expert

I’m a single mom and haven’t dated too much since my daughter is only 8. I think I’m ready to start, but am worried men aren’t going to like that I have an 8 year old when most single people my age don’t have kids at all yet. Should I be looking for someone with specific qualities, or how do I know they’re going to be OK with me having a child?


Should I Send Sexts to my Boyfriend?

Jasmine from Miami asks…Lava365 Ask the Expert

I sent my boyfriend some cute photos to his phone. It wasn’t rated R stuff so I’m ok with it. I was in my bathing suit. Ever since I did it though, all he wants are more scandalous things. We live 30 minutes apart and it feels like a long distance thing sometimes. Should I just send him other photos so he shuts up? We’ve been arguing a little about it. Thanks for any help!


How Do I Stop Guys From Sending me Dirty Messages?

Krystal from Rochester asks…Lava365 Ask the Expert

Why do men ask me if I just want to hook up and do dirty things in the first message? Should I block them or reply?

Unfortunately, the internet provides men with a safety net to say things to women they would never say to their faces. The other unfortunate thing is that many of these men get responses.


It’s Only Been 5 Months and I Want to Propose. Is it Too Early?

Josh from Chicago asks…Lava365 Ask the Expert

Me and my girlfriend (Tish) have been dating for 5 months. We’re both in our early 30s and went into the relationship not really knowing where it was headed, but now I think she is the one for me. My guy friends say it’s too soon to propose or get married, but I just KNOW she is the one. I don’t know if I can wait anymore I am so excited. Is 5 months too early to get engaged?


I Feel Awkward Around my Younger Girlfriend’s Friends. Help!

Question: John from Port Hope asks…Lava365 Ask the Expert

I’m dating a younger woman (I’m 38, she’s 26) and lately I’ve been feeling like the old creepy guy when hanging out with her friends. I don’t get a lot of their jokes even though we’re not THAT far apart in age. We really connect, but I know it’s important for her to be able to bring her boyfriend around her friends. What can I do to make it easier?


Should I Give Up Clubbing for My Boyfriend?

Kerry from Vancouver asks…Lava365 Ask the Expert

I’m still under 30 and like to socialize with people. My bf thinks it’s immature and thinks I don’t have my priorities straight. I don’t know if I’m ready to sacrifice nightlife for a guy I’m dating. I want him to come out with me and socialize at the bar too! We met at one, why can’t he enjoy going out with me?

There is nothing wrong with having an active social life beyond your boyfriend! Regardless of age, you should always maintain (and grow) friendships outside of your relationship. Studies have shown that having numerous friends is actually good for your health!


I Think I Might Want My Ex-Girlfriend Back, But Do I?

Joe from Montreal asks…Lava365 Ask the Expert

I recently got out of a relationship with my girl of 4 months and I’m heartbroken. I think I fell in love with her. She said I was not as committed as she was and that I am not supportive in her job. She works late night as a bartender and I don’t see why she broke up with me if she’s the one who is always busy and working. It’s been 2 weeks since the breakup. Should I send her flowers and apologize?

Joe, I feel for you. The period immediately following a breakup involves pain, a sense of loss, confusion, frustration and anger.  It is never easy and no one can prepare you for the flood of thoughts and feelings that dominate every moment.   The idea of having the person back in your life seems like a refuge from the deep sense of loss.

I know you feel the urge to contact your ex-girlfriend and talk to her about what happened.  I know you want the chance to connect and see her one more time. I know you want to find ways to make her demanding work schedule sync up with your relationship expectations.

I know. We’ve all been there.

Before you rush to the local florist, I urge you to give this matter of the heart more time. In fact, I think you should give it more in the ballpark of two months.   Give yourself time to adjust and consider your options.  Use the time apart to consider your feelings, the direction of the relationship and what you need in your life right now.  It may or may not be her.

In relationships, just as in life, it takes time to adjust to a new routine and see positive results.  Think of it as a new workout or trying to add more green leafy products to your diet.  It seems like hard, painful work as first that eventually, if you persist, will yield positive results.

Trust me and take the time.


I Can’t Stand my Boyfriend’s Parents. How Can I Change This?

Elle from Milton asks…Lava365 Ask the Expert

I’ll just come out and say it. I can’t stand my boyfriend’s family. They’re obnoxious, put me on the spot all the time, and are SO controlling of everything he does. I’ve asked him to stick up for me and have my back several times but he never actually does anything when the time comes. I love him and really want to be with him but I can’t imagine having to see his family at every holiday for the rest of my life. Is there anything else I can do but shut up and deal with it?


He was Treating me Like a Queen…And Then He Just Vanished

Kathy from Kitchener asks…Lava365 Ask the Expert


I am trying to find peace over the guy who came on SO strong (it’s exactly what you describe). I was hesitant…we were moving too fast… he was in constant contact, treating me like a queen, and then without warning, he vanished. He even ignored two of my text messages. I don’t want a guy who behaves like this back—what I want is to find peace. I’m obsessing over him and the situation, and I want to stop.

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