Archive for Online Profiles tag


The Phases of an Online Dating Relationship

What’s different about a relationship that starts online versus IRL? Turns out the biggest differences come before you’ve even had your first date! Believe it or not, these differences might also set up your new relationship for success. Of course every relationship is different, but we’ve outlined the three most common phases of an online dating relationship. What phase are you in?


Why You Shouldn’t Build Your Friend’s Online Dating Profile

online2Maybe you’ve been single for a while. You know you’re not the best at putting yourself out there. Maybe you’re a little shy or just timid about pulling the trigger on online dating. And your friends, who love you, just want to help get you out there. And you’re tempted; your friends provide support for you in every way for your life.

Dating is no exception. But where is the line where support becomes misidentification? When it comes to online dating your friend may feel pulled to get you into the scene by writing your online dating profile for you. She’s thrown out words that you don’t know how to make yourself sound “interesting enough.” You wonder, is this the best idea? You know you want to be online, but is this the best way to go about doing it?


How Do I Stop Guys From Sending me Dirty Messages?

Krystal from Rochester asks…Lava365 Ask the Expert

Why do men ask me if I just want to hook up and do dirty things in the first message? Should I block them or reply?

Unfortunately, the internet provides men with a safety net to say things to women they would never say to their faces. The other unfortunate thing is that many of these men get responses.


How to Get the Right Girls Online

How to get the right girls onlineIn the world of online dating, there are a lot of women. And not just any kind of women; there are beautiful women, smart women, sweet women, feisty women and really every kind of woman on the spectrum.

But how do you attract and find the right girl online?

Try to Think Like the Type of Girl You Want to Attract.

What qualities is she looking for in a partner? How does the type of man she likes treat her? Are values and beliefs she holds closest also values and beliefs she’s looking for in a match? And if you have those qualities, can she see when looking at your profile?

When you’re trying to find the right girl online, keep your audience in mind. Your profile doesn’t just become a dating resume of you, but it becomes a piece that serves to connect you to others. Ultimately, you’re not trying to just present a picture of yourself, you’re trying to connect.

You can’t connect if you can’t empathize with how others may think or feel. When you write your profile, or send emails to a girl you’re interested in, write them in the same conversational tone you’d use if you were sitting across from her.

Your Pictures are Outrageously Important and Tell a lot About You. 

Getting the right girls online to pay attention to you means you need to pay attention to what image you’re putting out there. For the most part, most of the men I work with struggle with the type of pictures they choose. The ones you tend to use the most, or feel are most flattering, could actually be working against you.

If you want to get the right girls online, remember that girls tend to be visually oriented in online dating…which means attraction matters. In the same way that you probably click on profiles with pictures you find more visually appealing, women will do the same. Make sure you put in some effort here, and always put your best foot (well, actually it should be a face) forward in your pictures.

If you’re not getting responses from women you like, change up your pictures and pay the most attention to your primary photo. If your primary photo doesn’t attract her, then she won’t ever see any of the rest. For your primary, try to avoid bathroom, bedroom or car selfies; the lighting is usually bad and they are not flattering.

Be careful with pictures with hats and sunglasses. Also be careful of using a picture of you far in the distance or a full body shot for your primary—you’ll get lost in the sea of other thumbnails. Face-focused, well cropped and lit photos perform best. Hands down.

Know Who and How to Contact to Get the Right Girls Online

Figuring out how to contact a woman may prove to be the greatest determining factor of whether you end up getting a date with the “right girl” you do meet online.  While it’s true many women get a lot of men contacting them, most of those men aren’t making any effort to get to know her. A good, thought-out message will stand out from the rest and get her attention.

Try to assess yourself and stick to contacting women who are in your league to get more traction. Look to see when she was last online. If it’s been a while of inactivity, she may not be looking for someone right now. Did she check out your profile before you checked out hers? That’s a sure sign she’s still on the market. Email her.

Learn the basics of how to ask questions about a person to start a conversation. Open-ended question, like asking a woman what she thinks or feels about something, make her feel like you’ve taken an interest in her personally. Open-ended questions also give her a chance to give a longer answer, which ultimately allows you to continue your conversation.

The right girls are online. So, don’t worry about that. Just be sure you’re following these steps to show them you’re the right guy.

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