Should a Girl Wait for the Guy to Contact Her First?

 girl smiling at a text messageKristina  from Ann Arbor asks:

“What is your opinion on if the girl should wait for the guy to contact her first? I typically feel that when a girl contacts the guy first the guy loses interest as the “chase” is over and it gives them the “power” and “control” over the girl. I feel it seems desperate for a girl to contact the guy first.”


Kristina, this is a common question to which a variety of answers can be given.

Messaging someone “first” depends on so many different situations, circumstances and context to the situation.

As a general rule, my opinion is if you’re interested in someone, make it known.

You don’t lose “power” because you’ve chosen to make the first move.

It also depends on how often you are making the first move and the follow up from the initial conversation. If someone gives you their number, I think it’s perfectly fine to contact him first.

What’s more important is the point of the contact and the outcome you’d like to achieve. When there is a mutual interest; it’s irrelevant who contacts first. Most of those contacts are received with a feeling of warmth and excitement.



Lavalife About Lavalife is one of the original players in the online dating game. Committed to helping its members find fun dates and relationships, Lavalife is a prime source for online dating, dating and relationship advice.

Related Posts