Are you Settling?
Are you settling in your relationship? It can be easy to confuse comfort with love, and all too often people settle for an easy relationship rather than pursuing something that will truly make them happy. That may be fine for today, but what about two, five, ten years from now? Ask yourself – is this really how you want to spend the rest of your life? To help you decide, see if our list of six sign you’re settling sounds familiar to you.
1. You do all the compromising
Your partner is unwilling to change, so in order to make the relationship “work”, you put aside your own needs, wants, or goals to the point that you barely recognize yourself. Not only that, but you justify it by telling yourself that some day, your partner will make compromises for you, too.
The best way to predict the future is by looking at the past. If your partner hasn’t been willing to compromise yet, they probably never will.
2. You’ve been cheated on
This one sounds like a no-brainer, but a lot of couples stay together after a betrayal because it’s easier than facing the reality of the situation. Forgiveness can be an amazing thing, when it’s genuine. But denial will just harbour resentment, and that sort of emotional pain might never go away if it isn’t dealt with.
3. You don’t feel supported
A good relationship should inspire you to be the best version of yourself. You and your partner should be a dynamic duo, ready to tackle anything that life might throw at you. Both your problems and successes should be shared between you. If you find yourself facing major life issues alone, without the support of your partner, it might be time to reconsider the relationship.
4. You never chose your relationship
Your partner probably pursued you a lot at the beginning, and you were happy to go along for the ride. Before you knew it, weeks turned into months, and you’re somehow still together. Stop for a minute to think – did you really choose this relationship? Or have you just been coasting along? Tune into your thoughts and feelings and make a choice about your relationship. It may be a difficult decision to make, at least it’s your decision.
5. You’re worried about hurt feelings
Breaking up is hard to do, no matter which side you’re on. But remember that wounds heal over time. What’s worse is a lifetime of hurting yourself and your partner by staying in a relationship that doesn’t allow you to express your true thoughts, passions, beliefs, and love.
6. You’re afraid of being alone
Many people settle in their relationships simply because they can’t bear the thought of being single. While this is a very real fear, it’s no reason to stay in a relationship. It’s not fair to you or your partner. Remember that even if you’re single, you’re never really alone. You have a support network of friends and family who love you unconditionally, and can help you gain the confidence to find a relationship that’s right for you.