How to Use Dating Techniques to Land a Job
Can your online dating skills help you snag the perfect job? Yes.
My friend Tina has always used her business skills to be a successful online dater but recently, she used her dating skills to find a new job.
She launched www.hiretina.com, and within weeks she was fielding fabulous job offers from all over the country, consulting gigs, and more than a few romantic proposals, including an old high school flame and at least one prison inmate.
How did she do it? Instead of taking the standard route of just posting her resume online and shaking the Rolodex for possible positions, Tina set up a website to help other people who were looking for work. She approached job-hunting, just as she’s always approached dating. And it worked.
Her secret? By helping others, you help yourself. Tina has the most unique ability to convert guys she meets online who aren’t exactly boyfriend material to friends. And business contacts. And matchmakers for her. As in, no opportunity wasted. When most online daters have a date with no sparks, they never talk to the person again (even if they’re nice), and just head back to the drawing board — make that the keyboard.
Tina realizes, however, that even if it’s not a love connection, that the two of them have something (probably a lot of somethings) in common, and maintains the relationship even as just a social contact.
Not a perfect match? Tina says, “Who knows? You may have just found your new podiatrist. Or your new brother-in-law.”
Tina is not a size 2 waif, Marsha Brady-haired, Junior League blonde. She’s a normal woman. But she’s one of the most successful online daters I know. Sure, she’s smart, she’s beer-shooting-out-your-nose funny, and she has a smile so fabulous it puts Tom Cruise to shame.
What makes her so appealing, however is that she has this utterly compelling interest in other people: Who they are, what they do and why they like it. Where as most people put forth a huge amount of effort just trying to be interesting, Tina immediately connects with people because she is effortlessly interested.
This is the secret to Power Lunch Dating. And just about anybody can do it if they try. Even you.
Many people have an impression of networking as a negative, self-serving thing, but naturally gifted networkers intuitively understand that meeting new people and learning about them is fascinating.
Born socializers actually take great pleasure in helping other people, whether it’s giving them confidence in their job hunt, hooking them up with tickets to the big game, or fixing up Great Aunt Mildred with the retired schoolteacher who accidentally wandered into the under-40 chat room. To make Power Lunch Dating work for you, you have to understand that true networking isn’t so much about how other people can help you, it’s about how you can help them.
Tina says, “When I meet somebody online, I always think about other people in the process. I have friends who are looking for other things than I am, and I want to see them happy.”
How to Master Power Lunch Dating:
- Listen to your date.
- Smile with your mouth (and your eyes) and make eye contact frequently.
- Ask lots of questions. Then, ask more questions.
- Remember, no date is ever wasted. (Except that one in 2003, but let’s not talk about that.) Approach dating with the idea that if it doesn’t work out romantically, you could come out of it with a new client, a new dentist, or a new friend.
- If the chemistry isn’t right for you, think about which of your friends might be a good match.
- If you like this person enough to let them through your filter, they’d probably be a great addition to your circle of friends.
- If you don’t hit it off, be honest and don’t be afraid to say so right away — it’s a lot more likely you’ll end up as friends if one of you hasn’t been strung along.
- If someone spends most of the night talking about themselves, they’ll feel like they had a fantastic conversation.So, the next time you have a date that doesn’t quite spark, try them on as a friend instead. As for Tina, she’s jumped right into a new job she loves. Now, she’s just in the market for a person to love.Hmmm. Now, who do I know? [divider]Dating Expert Lisa Daily is the author of Stop Getting Dumped!