Online Dating 101: The Reason You’re Not Receiving Replies
One of the biggest frustrations with online dating is how, sometimes, it can feel like no matter how many messages you send you simply don’t receive any replies. You see profiles that catch your eye, you send some hilarious and eye-catching messages and then you sit and wait to see the magical “new message” notification pop up. But, what happens when it doesn’t? It could be that you happen to be making a mistake so common that, at times, it can be hard to even recognize. That’s why we’re here to help.
The real reason you’re not receiving replies could simply be that you’re writing a message that focuses on attraction rather than interests. When someone receives a message like, “I find you attractive. Want to hang out sometime?” the chase is lost. If you remember back to when you first started dating, or maybe even your first crush, you probably remember that it all comes down to the thrill of the chase. That feeling of butterflies and the rush of excitement that comes with a new love interest certainly doesn’t fade with time and is alive and well in the world of online dating – trust us!
While your intentions may be pure and your message kind, if you jump straight past the “How are you?” and land on the “You’re hot,” the chase is over. Instead, we recommend building the excitement over an entire conversation rather than getting it all out there in your first message or reply. If you listen to this advice and put it into action, we bet that you’ll start seeing a whole lot more replies than you’ve been receiving thus far. Who knows, it might change the way you online date forever.
Like we said, instead of focusing on attraction let’s begin by focusing on the other person’s interests. Did they just return from a trip to Europe? Ask a question about their trip and keep it PG. Perhaps they love animals and their photo gallery features a handful of pictures of them with animals – you’ll instantly increase your odds at getting a reply if you focus on their love of animals. This kind of logic can easily be applied to just about any profile and, again, all you have to do is look at what interests them and use that to break the ice.
If you’re in a situation where you’ve been messaging someone back and forth for a little while but now the conversation’s dulled and you haven’t heard back for some time, try not to take it personally. This sort of thing often happens in the dating world – online and off. Just as you’re probably interested in a few different profiles and carrying on a couple of different conversations, so are other people. Be patient and don’t push too much. Checking in with the person and seeing what they’ve been up to is one thing, but messaging them over and over hoping for a reply is another. Keep checking for new profiles, new mutual matches and strike up another conversation with someone new – you never know what great connection is waiting at the next “click.”
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