So, the date is coming to a close and that confident, funny and sexy woman you have been chatting it up with all evening is about to say goodnight.
How do you convey interest and establish a romantic connection? Should you extend your hand as if one of your business meetings were coming to a close? Do you open your arms and go in for a hug? Do you go all out and land one on her lips?
Or perhaps just offer a friendly wave and say “Goodnight, Gracie” (or whatever her name happens to be)?
Unfortunately, in many cases, people go with the safe and casual method – the dreaded cheek kiss. It’s a tender gesture that reduces the risk of rejection or misfire. Where’s the harm? Actually, you’d be surprised at how fast this social gesture can stall a romance headed for the fast track.
Accompanied by a hug, a friendly squeeze or a pat on the back, a kiss on the cheek is a gesture used to indicate several things, including friendship, confer congratulations, offer comfort, sign of respect and, possibly, communicate curiosity or romantic interest.
Simply put, people kiss their sisters and grandmothers on the cheek.
While a soft peck could be sweet and, yes, even a bit flirtatious one can see how easy it can smudge the romantic message you are trying to convey to a person of interest.
Kissing a girl on the lips is a significant moment, often accompanied by fears of rejection, feeling silly, being misunderstood, pressured or nervousness. But if it is authentic to the feelings and the moment, it can be the best way to communicate your romantic interest.
We’re not talking hot and heavy, but a tender touching of your lips to hers. Direct contact, if you will.
When it appears the date is coming to a close, ask yourself how the date went. The best way to gauge a woman’s feelings is to notice her body language.
If she has made a lot of eye contact, flipped her hair, leaned into to talk to you or touched your arm during the conversation, your date may be keen on you. If she offered monosyllable answers to your questions and was avoiding you like the plague for the duration of the evening, you may be out of luck with this one.
If you are unsure, stick with the hug or handshake. Strong sexual advances too early are a turnoff.
That being said, if you’re feeling the chemistry and that she’s into you, it is recommended that you go all out and kiss her on the lips. Sure, it’s not casual. It’s not safe. A little directness in the game of love can be refreshing. In a world of miscommunication and misinterpreted signals, don’t water down your affections. Think of it like a dropped call in the fine art of communication. You think you are communicating with someone – but there is very little feedback.
I think Alexander “Alex” Michael Karev, M.D. of Grey’s Anatomy said it best:
For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. You want it to be with someone you can’t get out of your head, so that when your lips finally touch, you feel it everywhere. A kiss so hot and so deep, you never want to come up for air. You can’t cheat your first kiss. Trust me, you don’t want to. Cause when you find that right person for a first kiss, it’s everything.
When it comes to kissing, there are no hard rules. Some women find it absolutely inappropriate to smooch on the first date. Others think it’s a perfectly natural way to end the evening, depending on how the date went. Read their body language and determine where they stand. Trust your instincts.
Be Brave. Pick your moment. Go with your gut feeling. And, above all else, aim for the lips.