Is it OK to Ask a Man to Meet Offline First?

girl blowing kisses at computerKristen asks:

“I noticed one guy checked out my profile a number of times so I sent him an email. He contacted me each day for about a week to wish me good morning and we exchanged about eight emails. I then said I’d enjoyed chatting and asked how he felt about meeting in person. He responded “that would be cool” and asked what my schedule was like for the next week. I sent him some times and suggested a possible place. I never heard back from him.

Do you think it’s OK for a women to suggest meeting in person if the guy does not ask to meet after a series of emails? I’ve had this happen a number of times where the guy emails me and I generally bring up meeting after four or five emails if the guy doesn’t suggest it. Is that OK to do or does it turn men off?”

Hi Kristen:

Thanks for your question. It is very common to start communication with a man online and engage in back and forth emails, only to have him “disappear” after an invitation to meet “offline.”

What’s really important to remember is that online dating attracts all kinds of people, and for various reasons.

Although we make our best effort to filter and sort through the ones who are serious and those who are just “serial online daters” you will run into these types of guys who are just happy to stay in the virtual world.

It is perfectly fine to ask to meet a man offline.

Most men I know who are serious about meeting someone special actually like it when the woman isn’t afraid to meet face-to-face.

It seems judging from your experience, you just haven’t met the guys who want to take it to an offline meeting.

It is natural to look to ourselves and ask, “What am I doing wrong?”

What you have to realize and be aware of, is that it’s very common for this type of thing to occur in the online dating space. You have to keep in mind there are people online who hide behind their computer. If you’re truly interested in meeting someone face to face, that’s a good thing!

If he’s not interested in meeting in person, it’s an early clue for you to move on.

Here’s a rule of thumb: max 3 emails each, before suggesting to meeting in person.

Keep your chin up Kristen and know that it will take some time and effort.



Lavalife About Lavalife is one of the original players in the online dating game. Committed to helping its members find fun dates and relationships, Lavalife is a prime source for online dating, dating and relationship advice.

Related Posts