I’m Not Ready to Give Up on Our Relationship. Is She?

Ramon from New York asks…What if I'm not ready to give up on our relationship?


My girlfriend and I broke up not long ago. The relationship was going well, but we are both parents. She lives with her child but I don’t live with mine but I have them twice a week. She broke up because we live two hours away of each other and says that if we were to live together it wouldn’t be fair for my kids to have to sit in a car for four hours every week, that they would growth resentful that their dad decided to make a life 2 hours away from them. I told her that we could make it work, but she’s set on how difficult it would be and that I would not be available to my kids, even though its only 2 hours away. Is there hope for me to change her mind? Recently she was telling how she’d rather be with somebody that she loves even if it was once a week, I told her it could be 5 days a week and in the meantime I would stay with my kids the days I see them but she’s convinced it won’t work. Is there something that I’m not seeing?


It’s lovely that you’re trying to make things work with your girlfriend, even though the two-hour distance between you and the parenting schedules complicate things.

Since you only have your kids twice a week, if you’ve got the flexibility and the willingness to travel to be with her, especially on days when you don’t have your kids, the long distance relationship could be sustainable. If she meant what she said about preferring occasional time with a loving partner to being without a partner at all, then she should be willing to accept your generous offer to continue driving to be with her.

However, it’s possible that she had another reason for wanting to abandon the relationship and she was just looking for an excuse. If you really value the relationship, fight for it – see if she’ll say “yes” to having another date with you. If she’s OK with it, make it a special evening filled with open, honest, loving communication. Let her know how much she means to you and offer up lots of suggestions for how the two of you can spend really nice, quality time together.

Romantic relationships can last a lifetime and kids grow up quickly. Ask her if there’s anything else on her mind, so you’ll be hearing the whole story, and see if you can keep your girl.

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