I’m in My Mid 30s, Only Meeting Guys With Lots of Baggage

woman frustrated smallJenn from Philadelphia asks:

“I’m in my mid 30s and seem to keep meeting guys who are emotionally unavailable, separated, have kids, divorced. I really don’t want someone with a lot of baggage, but find it’s harder to avoid since I’m older now.”

Hi Jenn,

Thank you so much for sharing your dating experience with me. You are definitely not alone with feeling as if you’re only attracting guys with a lot of baggage.

I’m a really big believer in the law of attraction so I would strongly encourage you to keep your thoughts and expectations super positive moving forward so we can start attracting the type of guys you’re interested in.

I assume from your statement you aren’t looking to meet someone with kids or ever been married. Rest assured, there are lots of guys who are also single wanting the same in a partner. Having said that, being separated or divorced doesn’t always mean these guys have “baggage.” I would be curious to know where you are meeting these guys and how long it takes you to determine they are emotionally unavailable and have all the other undesirable traits you want to avoid.

Singles who are younger, same age or older have successfully found mates which means you should keep your hopes up. I always ask clients who seem to be attracting the wrong types to really take a good look in the mirror. Is there anything you can do to start attracting the type of guy you want to meet? Is your online profile well written? Are you good at pre-screening guys you start conversation with to determine their level of seriousness? Being older should not be a factor to your lack of success, so far. We can always find an excuse, but I would advise you focus more on your solutions.

 

Christine

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