I Never Make it Past the 3rd Date. What Am I Doing Wrong?

girl frustrated looking down smallHeather  from Albuquerque asks:

“My online profile has generated good interest, but I never make it past the 3rd date. What am I doing wrong?”



Hi Heather:

It’s great to hear your online profile has generated “good interest.” We should figure out how to generate great interest. If you’re not getting past the 3rd date, it just means the men you have dated, have determined early on you’re not a great fit for what they’re looking for. It’s challenging for me to know what exactly you may be doing for the men to lose interest, but my first thought is to say you should not be blaming yourself for their lack of interest. I think it’s great that you’re not wasting a lot of time with someone before determining it’s not going to work out.

Some questions I would ask myself are are the following:

1. Am I asking too many questions about the future? (Ie: kids, babies, marriage talk, buying a house, meeting his family)

2. Do I seem to appear needy and insecure? Asking if and when he’s going to call you again? Always being available when he suggests a date. Asking him if he likes you, likes what you’re wearing and fishing for compliments?

3. What does his body language say to you and what does your body language say? Are you relaxed or uptight and nervous? Do you look into his eyes and appear attentive when he’s speaking, or do you look to the floor or away because you’re kind of shy?

4. Who makes the first move when communication? Are you playing hard to get? Or are you making the chase non-existent? Men like to be in the lead and the pursuer in the beginning. By making the first move all the time, you take the fun and excitement out of it.


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