I Have an 8 Year Old. Is Now Really the Time to Date?

Paola, 29 from Brockville asks… Lava365 Ask the Expert

I’m a single mom and haven’t dated too much since my daughter is only 8. I think I’m ready to start, but am worried men aren’t going to like that I have an 8 year old when most single people my age don’t have kids at all yet. Should I be looking for someone with specific qualities, or how do I know they’re going to be OK with me having a child?

Hi Paola.

Thank you for your honesty with this question.

Regardless of age, many single moms share this fear!  The biggest thing to keep in mind is that you ARE a single mom- so embrace it, own it and cherish it.

Rather than focusing on the guy, his qualifications and who is going to accept your situation, bring your attention to you and what you want.

Since you have not dated a lot, this is your time to just get out there and explore.  Have fun dating, keep things light and get your “mojo” back, before worrying about jumping into a heavy relationship. Pace yourself and hone in on what is important to you.

Don’t worry about spilling out your whole situation when you first meet a guy.  Let him get to know YOU first and if he likes you he will accept you and even embrace your situation.  And if he doesn’t, he’s not the right guy for you.

The more you put your energy into what makes you happy rather than worrying about who will accept you, you will start to attract the right man in your life.  And quite honestly, he’ll be lucky to have you!

About Kimberly Seltzer

Kimberly Seltzer
Kimberly Seltzer LCSW is a Therapist, Matchmaker, Image Expert and Dating Coach based in Los Angeles. Kimberly is the owner of Elite Image Makeovers providing image consultation, dating coaching, dating after divorce programs and matchmaking. She is a regular contributor to the Huffington Post Divorce on behalf of Art of Charm and you can see her other articles and videos as an expert on YourTango.com, Huffington Post, Cosmopolitan Magazine, Fox News Magazine and Yahoo Shine.
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