I Can’t Seem to Ever Secure a Second Date. What Should I Do?

girl with glasses curiousCynthia asks:

“I jokingly call myself the “one date wonder”. With guys that I’m interested in, I can’t get past the first or second date. They just don’t call back. I may need you to look at my profile. Another issue is guys, I guess to be polite at the end of the first date will say yes let’s go out and sometime we’ll even schedule a date. What’s a polite way of saying I’m interested but let’s give this a couple of days, if you’re still interested we’ll plan a date? It’s just depressing when they cancel or never call to make that date. Leading me on is not fun.”

Hello Cynthia:

It would be very helpful for me to have a better understanding of what actually happens on your first date, and understanding what impression you are making with the guys you’re going out with.

Sometimes it’s the smallest things which make the biggest impact, when it comes to chemistry and developing that spark.

Most men hate and fear rejection, and they frankly don’t know how to let a woman down as well. It’s easier for them to lie to you (or not tell you how they really feel) instead of letting you or having a woman start berating them with questions as to why they don’t like them.

I would love to look at your profile, and might also recommend we look at your overall dating “style” and outfits which is part of the whole package.

In addition, how many dates and how often you are going out with a guy will also determine your inevitable success with men in the future. We have to take each dating opportunity as a lesson learned to fine tune and develop your own skills in the dating playing field.

If you have truly enjoyed yourself with your date, it is perfectly fine to let him know how he made you feel.

“I really enjoyed hanging out with you”

or

“I really enjoyed spending some time with you and getting to know a little bit more about you.”

Keep it light. Don’t use the word “date.”

Follow up with something inviting but casual. Invite him to an activity-oriented outing and suggest something you think he may be interested in.

It makes a statement that you’d like to see him- with a new place in mind, putting the destination in your court, but the ball for him to call you if he’s interested.

I hope this helps, and would love to hear about it next time!

 

Carmelia

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