In the world of online dating, there are a lot of women. And not just any kind of women; there are beautiful women, smart women, sweet women, feisty women and really every kind of woman on the spectrum.
But how do you attract and find the right girl online?
Try to Think Like the Type of Girl You Want to Attract.
What qualities is she looking for in a partner? How does the type of man she likes treat her? Are values and beliefs she holds closest also values and beliefs she’s looking for in a match? And if you have those qualities, can she see when looking at your profile?
When you’re trying to find the right girl online, keep your audience in mind. Your profile doesn’t just become a dating resume of you, but it becomes a piece that serves to connect you to others. Ultimately, you’re not trying to just present a picture of yourself, you’re trying to connect.
You can’t connect if you can’t empathize with how others may think or feel. When you write your profile, or send emails to a girl you’re interested in, write them in the same conversational tone you’d use if you were sitting across from her.
Your Pictures are Outrageously Important and Tell a lot About You.
Getting the right girls online to pay attention to you means you need to pay attention to what image you’re putting out there. For the most part, most of the men I work with struggle with the type of pictures they choose. The ones you tend to use the most, or feel are most flattering, could actually be working against you.
If you want to get the right girls online, remember that girls tend to be visually oriented in online dating…which means attraction matters. In the same way that you probably click on profiles with pictures you find more visually appealing, women will do the same. Make sure you put in some effort here, and always put your best foot (well, actually it should be a face) forward in your pictures.
If you’re not getting responses from women you like, change up your pictures and pay the most attention to your primary photo. If your primary photo doesn’t attract her, then she won’t ever see any of the rest. For your primary, try to avoid bathroom, bedroom or car selfies; the lighting is usually bad and they are not flattering.
Be careful with pictures with hats and sunglasses. Also be careful of using a picture of you far in the distance or a full body shot for your primary—you’ll get lost in the sea of other thumbnails. Face-focused, well cropped and lit photos perform best. Hands down.
Know Who and How to Contact to Get the Right Girls Online
Figuring out how to contact a woman may prove to be the greatest determining factor of whether you end up getting a date with the “right girl” you do meet online. While it’s true many women get a lot of men contacting them, most of those men aren’t making any effort to get to know her. A good, thought-out message will stand out from the rest and get her attention.
Try to assess yourself and stick to contacting women who are in your league to get more traction. Look to see when she was last online. If it’s been a while of inactivity, she may not be looking for someone right now. Did she check out your profile before you checked out hers? That’s a sure sign she’s still on the market. Email her.
Learn the basics of how to ask questions about a person to start a conversation. Open-ended question, like asking a woman what she thinks or feels about something, make her feel like you’ve taken an interest in her personally. Open-ended questions also give her a chance to give a longer answer, which ultimately allows you to continue your conversation.
The right girls are online. So, don’t worry about that. Just be sure you’re following these steps to show them you’re the right guy.