How Do I Stop Guys From Sending me Dirty Messages?

Krystal from Rochester asks…Lava365 Ask the Expert

Why do men ask me if I just want to hook up and do dirty things in the first message? Should I block them or reply?

Unfortunately, the internet provides men with a safety net to say things to women they would never say to their faces. The other unfortunate thing is that many of these men get responses.

I once talked to a guy who would just lambaste women with sexually-charged messages along with his phone number.  He did this without any regard of really who he sent them to and women actually responded. Not all of them, but he was playing a numbers game to get some booty and there are enough lonely women out there that thought it was a good idea – so he kept going.

Whether you want to spend the effort on replying or blocking is your personal preference. It may not affect these guys too much, but sometimes it feels nice to remind men that you’re not an object and that a quality woman won’t respond to that kind of advance. Maybe you’ll teach him a lesson and keep him from making the same mistake on another woman out there.

To help mitigate some of these messages, be mindful of what pictures you post in your online dating profile—the more provocative pictures you have, the more men feel validated to be sexual in their messages.  So be careful in selecting photos, and especially of any including cleavage shots, Vegas style mini dresses, bedroom pictures and bikini posts.

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