Dealing with Loneliness During the Holiday Season

loneliness holidayThe holidays can be a tough time of year when you’re alone and even more so if you’ve been single for awhile and find yourself sucked into watching those romantic holiday commercials.  Media surrounds us with images of happy couples snuggled up by the fireplace, sipping cocoa and kissing under the mistletoe.

It’s no wonder you might feel a bit down.

But fear not, I have some ideas to pull you out of your doldrums and reclaim the holidays as your own as the fabulous solo goddess you are!

Stop Paying Attention to the Holiday Hype 

Remember that the purpose of commercials are to sell you the illusion that the people in their holidays ads are eternally blissful and their life has been fulfilled because they bought toilet paper, a diamond, brownie mix or air fresher.

They want to sell you the promise of a lifestyle.

Just remember that it’s an illusion.

You have much better ways of creating real holiday cheer and fulfillment, so I highly recommend using your mute button liberally on them, that goes double for Valentines Day.

Create your Own Traditions with Family and Friends

Your life can and should be fulfilling whether you have a significant other in it or not. Don’t wait for that perfect someone to show up before you start your own holiday traditions.

  • Have an orphans holiday dinner where you invite anyone and everyone that you love and consider family to share in some festivities and bring their favorite dish
  • Spike some eggnog and go caroling or on a hayride
  • Pair up with a friend or two and host a holiday party
  • If you are crafty, troll Pinterest for some fun holiday craft ideas and get together with friends to bring out your artistic side
  • Have an ugly holiday sweater contest and go out on the town in mass to share your holiday cheer

The possibilities are endless. You can use the scenarios of those holiday commercials that make it seem like those are things that only couples can do and claim them as your own!

When you find some activities you love, can reuse them year after year solo or to invite that future special someone too.

Clear out the Old, Invite in the New

Take this time of year to rid yourself of past hurts and regrets and create new intentions and goals for the future.  Gather some friends together for an evening of letting go of the old and celebrating your gratitude.

Ask everyone to take some small pieces of paper and write down the things from their past they want to let go of.  When I’ve done this with friends I find at first people think they have nothing to write and they suddenly they can’t stop.  Generally you don’t share what is written, they are for the writers eyes only.

Then, after writing them down you burn them.

A roaring fire is the best for this but you can also use a metal bowl and matches or candle.  Please be safe and make sure you have a fire extinguisher nearby if you and your friends have some major stuff to let go of.

Once everyone has written and burned what they want to let go of, use new pieces of paper to write your positive intentions, wishes and goals for the new year. You can put them up on a board or wall and share and talk about them with your friends.  They may even have some ideas or things that you can pair up with and find new ways to tackle these goals together.

What you are letting go of and what you are intending can be big things or little things, it doesn’t matter as long as they mean something to you.

Be Grateful and Appreciate What you Do Have

The holidays are a great time to simply reflect on what you do have and express your gratitude for them.

As with the previous idea the things you are grateful for can be big or small.  You can be thankful for your friends, for pumpkin lattes, for the lessons you have learned though out the year and for what adventure the future will bring.  You could also take a hint from Oprah and make daily habit with a gratitude journal.

If you write at least one thing a day you will find that you mind begins to look for something to be grateful for each day.  It’s a great way to tweak your mindset and get your head aiming in a positive direction.

Get Proactive about Love

If you want to get some traction on the love front, consider reading some books on the topic over the holidays and then plan on joining a dating website, even if only for research purposes.

Taking baby steps towards finding a healthy relationship can make it much easier to deal with loneliness and will also ease your stress about not having someone currently in your life.  In my own book I recommend when people are looking for love that they take a good long look at their relationship baggage and expectations before launching themselves onto the dating market.

If you do some legwork and really clarify what you are and aren’t looking for in a relationship, when you do starting dating it’s going to be much easier to identify the right qualities in a potential love match.

The holidays should be appreciating what you have, where you’ve been and what adventure awaits.  Don’t put your happiness and appreciation on hold until you find love.  You have everything you need right now and the love that comes into your life is only going to make your life that much better.

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