Dealing with Loneliness After Your Summer Fling
It’s ok! Summer is a time to have fun, enjoy yourself, meet new people, and see where it goes without expectations. If you are feeling alone after a summer love has fizzled out, this post is for you.
Here are some great ways to make fall the best season of your love life:
1. Appreciate the Lesson
Every “relationship”, whether it was a summer fling or a marriage, has a lesson to teach us. What did you learn about yourself by dating this person? What did you realize you need from a relationship? Many times, a summer fling can show you what you were missing in another relationship – excitement, chemistry, lack of unreasonable expectations, etc.
So instead of feeling lonely, draw from the lessons and look for those qualities in a long-term love.
2. Love Yourself out of Loneliness
Being lonely is not a great feeling, and understanding why you are lonely is important to shake it off. Is it because you were convinced they were your perfect match? Or, do you feel lonely because you no longer have something do on a Saturday night? Take time to understand the real reason, and love yourself out of it. Realize that you are perfect the way you are, without a partner.
Spend time reminding yourself of all the amazing qualities that you have, and enjoy the time by yourself meditating, working out, and pampering yourself. Soon you won’t even remember your fling’s first name.
3. Jump Back in the Pool
The quickest way to get over someone is to….go out with someone else! What? Did you think I was going to say something else? 😉 Getting back in the dating game after a fizzled fling is essential. You will never meet anyone on your couch, so get back online, go out with friends, go to speed dating events, and smile at anyone and everyone you are attracted to.
Don’t jump into a relationship with someone simply because you are lonely, it doesn’t hurt to get out on a few dates! Enjoy getting to know people. Even if you aren’t meeting your next love, you may be making friends.
4. Fall in Love with Fall.
Summer is great, but fall is even better! There are so many opportunities to meet people in the fall. It’s football season, and if you are a single female, you are doing yourself a disservice if you don’t head to your local sports bar on Sundays.
Find a pumpkin or apple picking event on Meetup.com. Join a hiking club. Create your own potluck supper club – fall is all about comfort foods, have everyone bring a dish and single friend. The possibilities are endless.
5. Pace Yourself
Flings are meant to be short, and it’s ok if they burn out. If you are lonely from a fling, and ready for something more substantial, pace your next relationship. Spend time getting to know each other, take a breather in between dates, and wait to have sex. It doesn’t have to be an arbitrary amount of time (experts love to give advice here), but make sure you are ready to take it to the next level. My advice? If you are looking to start a long-term relationship, wait until you are exclusive and committed.
Whatever you choose to do, do something! Wallowing is no fun – going out and meeting new people is though!