More and more people, and couples for that matter, are opting to not have children. There are many reasons why someone may not wish to have children. Perhaps they simply don’t like children. Maybe they have other plans for their future – they want to devote themselves to career, travel, social causes, etc. At the end of the day, it’s a completely personal choice and needs to be respected. When dating, it also needs to be communicated. This, friend, is how to date if you don’t want kids.
How Soon do You Mention That You Don’t Want Children?
It probably sounds absurd to bring up children on a first, second or even third date. We get that. That’s why you should bring up the fact that you don’t want children as soon as possible if you see long-term potential in a partner. You don’t likely want to spring the “kids conversation” on your date the moment you meet, but it should be something you discuss before becoming exclusive.
Understand the Potential Reactions
When you do mention that you don’t want kids, it’s important that you understand (and prepare for) the possible reactions you might get from your date. They could completely understand, and even feel the same way. Amazing! They could be on the fence about kids, which means they may end up deciding that, ultimately, they do want them. They may definitely want kids – maybe even a lot of kids. And, they may be downright shocked that you don’t. People come from a lot of different backgrounds and family situations, and everyone wants something slightly different. You will find a partner who loves you and respects your decision.
Online Dating Lets you Be Upfront, so Be Upfront
When building an online dating profile, you can select if you have kids, want kids, have kids and want kids, etc. So, take the opportunity to be upfront and select “Don’t Want Kids”. If you’re truly not at that point, and are just on the fence, then select “Maybe” or whatever option is the closest. If your mind is made up and you really, really do not want children – don’t let potential dates believe they might be able to change your mind. It’s not fair to them, it’s definitely not fair to you, and it’s not a good use of either of your time.
Be Confident in Your Choice
Lastly, don’t let anyone ever make you feel guilty or sad about your decision. After all, it’s YOUR decision. You’ve come to it with, we’d expect, careful thought and after a good amount of contemplation. It’s likely your date will want to know more about why or how you decided you don’t want children. That’s OK, they’re curious and want to get to know you better. When you feel that it’s time to have that discussion, then have it. Be confident, secure and communicate clearly. You’ve got this!
How soon in your relationship did you have the “kids” talk?