Think you’re a pro at picking up girls? Even the smoothest of guys are likely committing one of these pick up no-nos. Read the list below to find out what 8 things you should never do when trying to pick up girls, and what you should be doing instead.
8. Not Approaching
There’s nothing worse than seeing a girl you’re attracted to and not approaching her at all. How will you ever know if she’s into someone like you if you don’t walk up to her and start a conversation?
Unless you’re just out to socialize and meet new people, every time you see a girl you genuinely like, go and talk to her! I don’t know how many times I’ve seen a cute Mexican chick with a group of Mexican guys and I’ve approached. Yes, there’s a million things I could think like, “Oh, she’s only into Mexican guys,” or, “One of those guys is her boyfriend,” or “There’s too many guys in the group.”
All those things could deter me from approaching, but how will I truly know if I don’t walk up, start a conversation and find out for myself, right? Exactly. It’s your job to make things happen.
7. Waiting for the “Right Moment” to Approach
Stop thinking that there’s going to be this magical moment to approach the girl you want. If she’s walking with friends or is on her phone, it doesn’t matter. You need to approach her.
We’ve all seen a movie where there are a group of girls hanging at a bar and out of nowhere there’s this magical walkway. The guy walks up and makes this flawless move, and suddenly he’s got girls all over him. It’s not like that in real life, so get that out of your head. As soon as you see the girl you think is cute… start walking towards her.
The more you think about it, the more you will end up inside your head, where you will either convince yourself you’re going to mess it up or won’t end up approaching at all. The only real perfect time to approach is right when you see her.
6. Buy a Girl a Drink
There are a million other guys in the bar/club/lounge that will do this because they think that buying a girl a drink will get them somewhere. You don’t need to be that guy! And, if a girl DOES ask you for a drink, here are a few tips on how to handle the situation.
You could say something like, “Ah, you must see the word CHUMP on my forehead, well let’s talk when that’s not there anymore.” OR you can lay it on thick and say, “Damn, just when I thought you genuinely liked me you go and say something like that.” Remember, spending money doesn’t get you real attraction.
5. Only Talk About Yourself
Everybody’s favorite subject is themselves. This is a fact. But, when you only talk about yourself you sound like a jerk or someone that’s conceited. One thing you will want to do is get the girl talking about HERSELF.
The more she talks about herself, the more things you can find out about her. Remember, when you’re out looking for a girl to date or make your girlfriend you need to be SCREENING THEM to see if they fit the type of person you want to be with.
4. Asking a Million Questions
Talking to a girl you just met shouldn’t turn into a job interview. Stop with the, “So where are you from?” or the “So what do you do for work?” and the million other questions that every other guy is asking her as well. A quick tip I can give you is to turn any questions you might have into statements.
Instead of asking, “So where are you from?” you can say, “You look like you’re from LA for sure.” It’s like a mini cold read. If she’s not from LA, she’ll correct you and tell you where she’s really from. Learn to turn your questions into statements. It will definitely help get things rolling, and keep them rolling.
3. Let “Interruptions” Startle You
When you’re out clubbing, bar hopping, or even at small get-togethers, there will always going to be things that will distract you from talking to the girl. It could be her friends, the guy that secretly likes her, or anything else. Whatever it is, don’t let is faze you.
As soon as they come in and start talking, don’t be a jerk and ignore them. Acknowledge them, talk to them briefly, and then go right back into talking to the girl you’re interested in. Done.
2. Not Asking for Her Phone Number
I have clients that will come back to me after having a short interaction with a girl and say, “I didn’t feel like getting her number because I barely talked to her.” When it comes to attraction, you can’t base your assumption of someone else’s interest on the length of the conversation.
I’ve seen clients talk to a girl for 20 minutes and have a KILLER interaction, get the number but never be able to schedule a date. I’ve also seen clients get a girl’s number while walking to the car at 2:00am after the bars close, and that girl’s willing the meet up. So again, always get the girls number no matter the length of the interaction.
1. Waiting 3 Days to Text/Contact Her
This is a big one that everybody thinks they should do. Let’s break this one down. Say you get a girls number on Thursday night and you wait until Sunday to text her, since that will be three days.
That gives her the rest of Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Saturday night to get hit on and have other guys getting her number while you’re “waiting” to contact her. By the time Sunday rolls around, you might already have been forgotten and she could have set up a date with someone she met on Friday.
After you get a girl’s number, you want to start texting her either THAT NIGHT or the next day so she doesn’t forget who you are. The quickest way to become a part of her life is to start chatting with her right after you meet her.
Lavalife.com is one of the original players in the online dating game. Committed to helping its members find fun dates and relationships, Lavalife is a prime source for online dating, dating and relationship advice.