1. Operation Clean Sweep
Many women find cleaning their house or apartment is a calming experience during times of stress. Actually, it’s something that both men and women can benefit from after a breakup.
Research has shown that we actually become physically addicted to the pheromones secreted by the people we sleep with.
You don’t need that stuff messing with your head so throw out their cherished sweater, trash their toothbrush and wash everything they’ve ever slept on. If it’s too painful to do yourself, make a pile and have a friend come by to dispose of the junk when you’re not home.
2. The Pen is Mightier than the F-Word
A little venting to friends is OK. It’s expected and a good friend can help give you perspective on the break up. But when you start complaining to your third cousin about something your ex did five years ago because they are the only person who will still listen to you, give it a rest.
A great strategy for venting (without driving everyone around you crazy) is to keep a journal. This allows you to constructively rid yourself of vitriol and keep your friends friendly. Use it also as a tool to learn from your mistakes. You’ll likely see a pattern of things you hated about this relationship.
Once you recognize them, you can avoid repeating them with your next (fabulous) fling.
3. Rest in Peace
You feel like killing them. Obviously that’s a bad idea, but you can pretend they’re dead. Seriously, just make up a bizarre waxing accident or tanning-booth tragedy. Make it more realistic by getting rid of their stuff, including mementos and letters. Also delete them from your email address book, mobile phone and buddy lists.
It may even be a good idea to block their number and email address so they can’t contact you. Why go to such lengths? First, so that you aren’t tempted to backslide into tragic one-night stands, which only serve to reopen the wounds you are trying to heal.
Second, so you can move on with your life without painful reminders of your ex at every turn.
4. Vengeance is Yours
You’ve likely heard it said that the best revenge is living well. Well it’s true. Dreaming up ways to get back at your ex only serves to delay the healing you need to go through. It focuses you on negative emotions rather than finding positives in the break up — like the new opportunities and freedoms it affords you.
Instead of dwelling on the best way to hurt them, try being happy and making sure they know it.
That’s guaranteed to make them more miserable than anything you could ever dream up.
5. Spend Time with Friends
This may seem self-evident, but many people dealing with a break-up wrap themselves up in a protective cocoon. So don’t sit at home crying over The English Patient for the 20th time. Reconnect with friends instead. Go out to restaurants and movies. Take long walks together.
Consider a road trip somewhere. Not only will spending time with your amigos take the sting out of your loss, focusing on building relationships rather than ending them is good for your mental health.
6. Walk Naked Down Broadway
Do something you’ve always wanted to do. Go bungee jumping, drive an F1 car, take a salsa class, learn yoga. Small or large, it doesn’t matter but just do it. Once again, it’s all about moving forward instead of dwelling on the past.
And, when you inevitably run into your ex on the street and they ask how you’re doing you can tell them that you just got back from your African safari, but can’t talk long because you’ll be late for the tantric sex workshop. Then, as you sashay away smiling, they’ll stare after you and realize what a huge mistake they truly made.
Feels good, doesn’t it?
By Brent Turnbull
Photo source: myshadesmagazine.net