Six Signs You’re Dating a Loser

losers and winnersAre you getting that unmistakable feeling that your instincts have failed you this time around and your choice of date is… um, somewhat unfortunate? Maybe even really unfortunate?

We all have moments of weakness, willful blindness and strenuous denial. The key is to assess and address problems quickly with a mind to cutting short the agony and moving onto greener pastures. Don’t get caught latched to a loser. Check out this list of dating dud giveaways.

1. Your Friends Still Treat You as Single

Not all of us have that one friend in our posse who speaks out and tells the blatant truth, even if unasked, about our choice of lover. To avoid hurting fragile feelings or running the risk of being pushed away should the relationship get more serious, most people sugarcoat their message with subtle hints. If your friends have tried to set you up on dates with other people even though it’s obvious you’re already taken, read between the lines and know your friends think you could do better.

2. Their Friends Give You the Heebie-Jeebies

Would you reach into a bowl of rotten apples in the hopes that there was one on the bottom that still might be good to eat? Yeah, I thought not.

So what makes you think that your lover is any less loser-ish than his or her oddball, annoying amigos? If you wouldn’t dare set up your own pal with one of theirs, what makes you think that your catch is really all that?

3. You’re Invisible in Public

There’s something to be said for a guy or girl who has a unique sense of style. I mean, thankfully most of us have moved on from our “dress like everyone else in homeroom” tween days. But there’s a fine line between being a quirky cutie and being a fashion freak. If it feels like you’re invisible to strangers because all passing eyes are taking in the style-free spectacle that is your walking companion, you may be dating a dud. Or at the very least, a perennial fashion risk.

4. Their Love Is Spoiling the Mood

Who’s kidding whom? We all love to be pampered once in a while. But “once in a while” are the key words in that phrase.

If we were doted on all the time, we wouldn’t ever appreciate the efforts. More importantly, if someone is constantly spoiling us, there’s no chase in the relationship, and no chase means no balance. Strange as it is, when someone adores us to the point of smothering, we can’t help but wonder, ‘What’s wrong with them that they can’t get enough of me?’ If you always seem to be playing master to their slave, you may have a loser in your lair.

If you’re starting to feel like somebody’s one and only pastime, best to cut that loser loose.

5. You’re Their First In More Ways Than One

If — when you two eventually have that talk about all your exes and past partners — you discover that they’ve never actually dated anyone for a significant period of time before, little red flags should appear.

The big question, of course, is, ‘Why the heck not?’ Was that state of solitude by choice or did no one find them date-worthy for decades? Perhaps you need to ask yourself why so many other lovers passed over this “catch?”

Being someone’s first relationship can be rewarding in many ways, but there are definite downfalls related to a lack of experience, and no-one wants to add loser lust to their list of love accomplishments.

6. You’re Their Only Hobby

Maybe you have a passion for semi-useless appliances purchased from late-night paid television programs (who couldn’t use a Flowbee?) or perhaps you’ve got a collection of eclectic salt and pepper shakers that threatens to take over your living room.

It doesn’t matter what the hobby — at least you’ve got one. Does your guy or girl have any interests other than in being with you night and day? Everybody needs diversity in their day-to-day life. If you’re starting to feel like somebody’s one and only pastime, best to cut that loser loose.

Lavalife About Lavalife is one of the original players in the online dating game. Committed to helping its members find fun dates and relationships, Lavalife is a prime source for online dating, dating and relationship advice.

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