Remember the 2009 movie, He’s Just Not That Into You? Or, maybe you remember the book that inspired the movie (same title), penned by Liz Tuccillo and Greg Behrend? Either way, there are some lessons in love to be learned from the story. While we’ll admit we were a little distracted by the gorgeous cast, a second watch gave us ample opportunity to pull away some hard love lessons.
In this post, we’re sharing our five lessons to be learned from the film. Listen up, because they might just change your (love) life forever.
1. A Deal-Breaker is a Deal-Breaker
Remember those strong deal-breaker convictions you held when you first started dating? Maybe you told yourself you’d never stay with a liar, a cheater, etc. but as you moved forward in your relationship those convictions softened and you started letting him/her get away with a little bit more. It’s important to remember your deal-breakers and the fact that, unfortunately, they are deal-breakers. Think of the character played by Jennifer Connolly in the movie. It would have been easy to forgive her husband, but she stayed strong and stood by her convictions. She moved on rather than remain in a relationship sans trust.
2. Hold Yourself to a Higher Standard
When you put vibes out into the universe that you’re “nothing special” or “not worth this or that“, you invite that exact sort of treatment into your life – love life included. Ginnifer Goodwin’s character constantly second guessers herself and has a number of dates with guys who just aren’t into her. They don’t call, they don’t email – they basically disappear off the face of the Earth after the first date. As she begins to hold herself to a higher standard and only date guys who are putting in the effort, she starts to see her love life change. You can do the same.
3. Understand That Everyone Has Insecurities
Just as you might be nervous before a first date or might try to talk yourself out of meeting someone offline, you should remember that everyone has insecurities and gets nervous from time to time. Sure, some people are more insecure than others, but at the end of the day we’re all human. The hot guy at your office who’s a total player but you can’t take your eyes off? Maybe he’s afraid of commitment because a past relationship ended in disaster. Your perfect BFF who seems to always land on her feet following a break up might be struggling with self-confidence more than you know. Everyone wants to love and be loved, so don’t sweat it too much.
4. Let Go of Your Preconceived Notion of “Types”
We’ve all been asked before, “what’s your type?” Well, the thing about having a “type” is that it’s incredibly limiting. You might think you’re into blondes, but fall in love with a brunette. Or, maybe you’ve never dated a red-headed guy/girl so you figure you’re not interested in them. We tend to base our future relationships off of past relationships (for better or for worse). Try to break away from types of people and focus on the actual qualities you find yourself most attracted to. You’ll likely find that hair, eye and skin colour have very little to do with it – if anything at all.
5. Don’t Expect Immediate Results
Things take time, so give them it! You can’t expect to find your soul mate overnight, and you can’t expect every first date to lead to a second. It’s the way it goes. There are billions of people on the planet, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that you may not find “the one” straight away. Even though research shows that when a man is interested in you he tends to call within the first 72 hours following your initial meet up, different people act differently and experience different circumstances. Don’t rule him/her out right away just because you didn’t get an instant follow up.
What did you think of the movie? Did you find any of the lessons true? Let’s talk about it in the comments section!