Archive for May, 2013

Dating With Depression

depressed girlHere’s a stunning statistic: At least 20 per cent of American women and 10 per cent of men experience major depression sometime in their lives.

That’s according to the American Psychological Association. Mild depression affects even more. If you suffer from depression, you may struggle with the notion of sharing your life with a partner and wonder whether it’s even fair to date someone and impose your “baggage” on them. Let’s delve into how to handle dating with depression.

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Tips for Holiday Coping

girl smiling smallLet’s face it, aside from Valentine’s Day, Christmas is probably the most couples-oriented holiday of the year.

And for those of us already feeling the pinch of living in a partnered-up world, it’s enough to bring on a bad case of the holiday blues. Of course, there are many other contributing factors that make the J-man’s B-day (or Hanukkah for that matter) a breeding ground for depression.

For starters, there’s the cold weather and lack of daylight. In fact, it’s estimated that two million Canadians suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, a mood-altering syndrome brought on by the dark days of winter. Then there’s all the financial stress — not to mention amplified family issues — to contend with.

So just how is a single person expected to ward off an impending festive funk?

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Changing Your Dating Ideal

couple smiling smallRachel had a problem. A serial dater of musicians, she’d finally had enough of their broke-ass, wannabe rock star ways.

Substance abuse issues, financial woes, and ceaseless yammering about plans for their bands had given her a bad case of the “what-am-I-doing-with-my-life?” panic.

At 35, the fashion-and-lifestyles writer for a big-city daily newspaper realized that, if she was ever going to have a family, the way to go about it wasn’t risking her hearing and sanity at noisy dives ’til 2 in the morning.

The object of desire that had seemed so exciting in her 20s and early-30s — the non-committal man who was always the center of attention and could hold his own in a conversation about Exile on Main Street — suddenly seemed like a dead-end. It was time for a change.

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5 People You Date Before You Fall in Love

Guys to date before you fall in lovePeople say that dating is a numbers game, but I think it’s a lot more like waterskiing.

When you make your first attempt to waterski, you fall over forwards. On your second try, you fall over backwards. On the third try, you fall to one side and on the fourth try, you get up on skis.

Each time, you learn a little something and make adjustments.

Love is the same way. You have to take a dive a few times before you get it right. And just like waterskiing, there’s a pattern to the learning process: five people you’ll date before you truly fall in love.

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Impress A Girl In The Kitchen

How to Impress a Girl in the KitchenLots of guys are taking a hint from the Naked Chef and finding that women love a man who can cook.

Is this the result of a better-rounded, gentler group of guys raised by working moms?

Or merely a ploy to lure unsuspecting babes into the lair?

I’ve heard stories from men who have learned how to cook one spectacular date-night dish, as a means of impressing the ladies. (And, make no mistake guys, we are impressed.)

Of course, the initial thrill might wear off just a teeny bit if we learn your culinary repertoire includes just two selections: rack of lamb with asparagus tips or microwaved flash-frozen Buffalo wings and leftover pizza.

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Blonde Vs. Brunette

Young Brunette Woman on DateThere’s a new survey out from hair products company Sunsilk and website Askmen.com claiming to “get to the root of the age-old debate.”

Have men’s views on blondes and brunettes changed since the days of Marilyn Monroe? Or are we all still stuck in some sort of foil-wrapped time warp? Here’s what more than 4,000 men ages 18-34 said about blondes and brunettes:

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Dating Averages: How do You Measure Up?

How long 'til I should trade keys with the guy I'm dating?Are you normal? Probably not. Don’t feel bad about it though; nobody actually is.

And if you were exactly normal (five-feet, eight-inches tall, 167 pounds, with a dog and 0.7 cats), you would be, well, abnormal.

As your friendly neighborhood dating expert, one of the questions I get asked most often is: Is that normal?

My new boyfriend just asked me to shave his back. Is that normal?

My girlfriend will dump me if I don’t propose after 57 dates. Is that normal?

My friend Susan only sleeps with bald guys named Frank. Is that normal?

So darlings, for your dating pleasure, I have compiled a list of Official Dating Averages. Now, you can learn once and for all that you are absolutely, positively, without-a-doubt normal. And that you’ve been hooking up with weirdos almost exclusively.

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Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

Dating the Nice GuyNice guys finish last. We’ve all heard the phrase a thousand times.

I’ve even offered it as an explanation for some unsuccessful relationships. I wonder though, is it just an excuse for other shortcomings?

Are we just trying to make ourselves feel better when, in fact, the problem may lie with us and not with the women who prefer guys who apparently are not nice?

Do men honestly think that being nice is a drawback when it comes to women? I think that we need to take a good look at ourselves if we’ve ever uttered this phrase as an excuse.

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Dating the Doppleganger

Dating Someone Who Looks Like Your ExDerek never saw it coming.

He was head-over-heels in love with Claudia, his girlfriend of seven months, convinced that things between them were humming along seamlessly.

So it came as a complete shock when she suddenly dumped him and, less than a week later, took up with another man.

Derek was devastated. He didn’t just adore Claudia, he worshiped everything about her: her long, flowing blonde locks; her high cheekbones; her cynical, cutting sense of humor; her fanaticism for British comedy troupe Monty Python — which he shared.

From Derek’s perspective, their intimacy was unlike anything he had previously experienced: they generated plenty of sparks in the bedroom and perfectly fulfilled each other’s needs (or so he thought).

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