I regularly get questions from men about the best speed dating tips. I’ve personally run my fair share of speed dating events and seen it all. Men only have a few minutes to make an impression so it’s important to put their best foot forward. Here are my top 10 speed dating tips for men — and a few for women — to use at the next event.
10. Expectations Should Be Non-existent
More than 60% of people at a speed dating event are there for the first time. Understand that most people there are just as clueless about what to expect as you are. Instead of having expectations of getting tons of matches, it’s better to focus on having a good time.
9. Know it’s a Lottery
Speed dating is like any other type of dating (online, blind, group, etc.) — there are no guarantees. It’s important not to judge your interest based on what people look like.
GUYS: Be aware that most women go speed dating with their friends (over 90%). You can ask her how she knows her friends to get a better idea of who she is.
LADIES: Almost EVERY guy goes there by himself. Commend him on his courage to try this out solo. He’ll feel much more at ease and open to better conversation.
BOTH: Do NOT ask why they are speed dating. It’s just as bad as asking, “why are you single?”
8. Don’t Be a Creep
This one should go without saying. Avoid asking too personal questions and DO NOT try to contact (read: stalk) someone after the event, whether they are interested or not. The event is set up to let you know who is interested in you and who isn’t. If someone didn’t check you as a match, respect that and move on.
7. Be Gentlemanly
Sometimes, the time can go by in a flash. That time is all you have to leave a positive impression so here are some quick, simple tips to keep it consistent: Be polite in greeting them. Smile and make eye contact throughout the conversation. When you hear the bell, complete your thought (or let her finish hers), say it was great talking with her and move along gracefully to the next table. It’s as simple as that.
6. Focus on Your Strengths and Stay Positive
Remember, you have a limited amount of time for her to get an idea of you. Make sure when talking about yourself, you’re sharing fun, positive things. Complaining about work or talking about something negative will hurt your view of you, guaranteed.
The best speed dating tip for men I can give is to not take the conversations too seriously and you’ll see a difference in results when you focus on having fun.
5. Avoid “Interview” Style Questions
Just because you may be sitting across from them, doesn’t mean you need to exchange resumes. Ask questions that focus more on WHO they are and less about what they do. If you MUST ask, ask much later in the conversation as if it were an afterthought.
4. Have One or Two Creative Questions to Ask
A question I’ve given speed daters to ask is, “What is the one thing your best friend would want me to know about you?” Another has been, “What is the most interesting question you’ve been asked so far?” Either way, have an interesting question or two to ask and you’ll increase your chances of being memorable. Women will remember questions that weren’t asked often.
3. Critique Your Performance
At the end of the night, you will have a good sense of whether or not you have any matches. If you did get matches, great! Think about what you did that seemed to work and do it again next time. If you didn’t get any matches, don’t worry (read tips 9 and 10). If you think there were things you could have done better, look to improve or create new strategies for the next time you go speed dating.
2. Flirt with Her
Very little touching will happen since you’ll most likely be sitting across from her. So this is the time when teasing and complimenting be your bread and butter. Don’t be afraid to compliment her on something you find attractive — both physically and intellectually. And definitely don’t be afraid of playfully making fun of her. She’ll show more appreciation for the light conversation, be more relaxed, and attracted to your playful spirit.
1. Dress Well
If there is anything you do, you MUST dress well. Formal work attire is acceptable, but anything less than business casual is setting yourself up for failure. If you were going out to a nice place to meet women, I’m certain you wouldn’t wear sneakers, a t-shirt and a baseball cap, right? Right? Show respect for the event, the women and yourself by dressing to impress.
When speed dating, understand that you and the person you’re talking to are trying to figure out if there is chemistry there. The best speed dating tip for men I can give is to not take the conversations too seriously and you’ll see a difference in results when you focus on having fun. Enjoy the many women you’ll get to meet in a short period of time and learn from the experience to better understand what women are looking for in an attractive man.